Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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