Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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