there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize