is your mom at the bar?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
