he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
