tell your sister to shave her snatch
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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