Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
