He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize