No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There's even glitter on my cock...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
