I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
