I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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