I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think my vagina is haunted
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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