I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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