Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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