We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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