Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
