he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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