My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
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I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
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You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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