the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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