sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
two words: eviction party
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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