on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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