i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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