this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
