I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
