This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
