I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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