i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
