Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
