he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
