I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
