her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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