would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
