actually, I'm a sock model
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize