I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
