If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
