If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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