I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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