Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
