there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
