we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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