is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I need to calm my uterus...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
