I love black thongs
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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