I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So drunk its hurt
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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