I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
