think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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