gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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