Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
