can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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