my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
