Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
