new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
