I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
