Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
