somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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