I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
