the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
