He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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