no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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