So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
