just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize