So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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