I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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