Can Purell be used as lube?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
